The 2nd post I've ever written about dog sex

(NTRK Day whatever, since I took the weekend off)



Adrian ran back into our room, screaming and grabbing his face like Macaulay Culkin.

"Charlie is kind of pooping in my room!"

Charlie is a yorkie. Mat got him for us last year for Christmas. We've had him almost a year with no problems. He has only had a few accidents and the only complaint I have about him is that when I am not paying attention he licks my armpit or cleavage, whichever is closer.

I grabbed my slippers and ran into Adrian's room. Charlie was hunched over in a poopingish position but wasn't running from me like he normally would if he was taking a shat in the house. I went to pick him up but he looked funny. Almost like he was in a state of pure ecstasy, yet also extremely invaded.

"Look at his poop, Mom!"

That's when I saw it. It kind of flopped against the ground and pulsated. It was huge and purple and veiney. I screamed. Charlie glanced up at me, annoyed that I interrupted.

"Adrian, go get Dad"

I hear him wailing as he runs down the hall "Whaaaatttt's happenninnnnggggg"

When he ran into my bedroom to get Mat, he was extremely distraught.

"Daddy you gotta come quick. Oh my god, it's not poop. It's not poop. It's....it's coming....it's out of his....oh my god hurry up and get up, it's out of his....it's from his.....privates penis...oh my gah come on!"

Mat calmly walks in the room as I have leaned down and am at a loss for what is going on with my life. I have always had male dogs and have NEVER seen anything like this before. I wasn't even for certain it was what I was fearing it was. I thought it was a tumor that fell out of his stomach. It was so big. Charlie weighs a little over 11 pounds and I am pretty sure his doggy chub was 9 inches. Little Ron Jeremy is still in hunched over position, throbbing and moaning and wanting a cigarette.



Mary: Mat, what is it?

Mat:....

Mary: IS THAT HIS DICK?

Mat: Yeah. Yeah. That's his dick. Damn, Charlie, putting me to shame.

Mary: I think he's dying or something. I think his intestines are falling out. Something is falling out. That's not okay. Look at him.

Mat: Yeah but he looks...like...he's all right.

Mary: I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY IT'S PULSING.



At this point, some of it got on my foot. Yes, that happened. I can't go into further detail because this is a family blog. But...let's just say I didn't get there in time to stop what was now happening.

As I was yelling and trying to keep myself from offing myself, Mat picked up Charlie and carried him with his one eyed purple people eater facing away from him, all the way to our bathroom. He shouted at Adrian to look away. When I cleaned off my foot (sick) and went to follow, I found Adrian in the corner of the kitchen, facing the wall, crying.



Adrian: What's..(sob) .happen....ing......(sob)

Mary: He's fine.  Can you tell me what Charlie was doing right before he pooped Tarzan's dong out of his urethra?

Adrian: He was...just...hugging my pillow pet. He was hugging it over and over again and then started growling at him and biting at him.

Mary: Okay. Are you ready for this?

Adrian: (sob) yes...(sniffle)

Mary: Sometimes, when penises think they're having sex they get real big.

Adrian: OH MY WORD. and slimy???

Mary: Meh, that one's really disgustingly slimy. He's okay, though. He just thought he was making sweet doggy sex to your pillow pet.

Adrian: Why didn't it go away when we told him to stop?!?!

Mary: Adrian, I'm cool with talking about this all night if you want to but do you really want to ask more questions.

Adrian: Ug. No. Goodnight.




I got him a glass of water and tucked him back in, talking about Disneyland to clear his little mind of k9 penis veins.

I walked back into our bathroom, expecting Mat to have done whatever it takes to have this wrapped up and taken care of. At this point it had been a good twelve minutes since orgasm dog started his thing, surely by now this was over.

No.

Mat is in the doorway, his phone to his face. Charlie is hunched over his gross self on a bathroom rug.



Mary: Uhhh, could we not get this session wrapped up?

Mat: If this goes on for 30 minutes it says we should take him to the vet.

Mary: Take him to the vet right now. Those blood vessels are about to burst all over my bathroom.

Mat: It says here not to manually release him or assist him in any way, because it could cause more damage than good.

Mary: Ummm...yeah....you don't...have to worry...about that.

Mat: It says to get a cold and wet cloth and put it on it.

Mary: I nominate you to put a cold and wet cloth on it. You seem like you'd be good at that.

All of a sudden, Charlie breathes out deeply and lays down on his side, panting. He's now done. How nice for him.

Mat: Ah, there it goes. It's going away.

Mary: I'm so grossed out by him right now. Just. Make him go away. He's like a trucker on the side of the highway.

Mat: I'm just glad we've already had sex today because this would have killed the mood.



If anyone would like to see a picture, we MAY have taken one. I may have been sending it to a few select friends at different levels of zoom all day. I am not sure about the beastiality laws and distribution of naked dogs, etc. Just text me if you want some of that.