Anniversarinappropriateness

In all things inappropriate, I suppose everyone is expecting me to give embarrassing details about husband and I's inappropriateness on our anniversary. But I won't. Just know it involves a lot of Fourth of July decorations and Olsen Twins movies.

One year ago today, I married Mat Brown. Before that, he was my fiance, before that he was my boyfriend, and before that he was the boy at the pool staring at my boobs and making inappropriate jokes for someone trying to land Mary Flowers.

Here are some favorite things about my life with Mr. Mat with one T.

1. He always knows the weather for the next 2 weeks, even if it's completely uneventful. I can be planning a lunch date for next Sunday and he'll say "Be careful driving to 63rd street. There's an arid north warm front caused by the cumulonimbus in Denver. It's causing the pollen to accumulate". This is when I try my damdest to act as uninterested as possible but to no prevail he will start drawing me a map or pulling up a video on his phone. This could be good, but because he believes he understands the weather so perfectly, he has no fear of it. Flashback to the tornadoes of last summer, he's on hole 16 at Twin Hills while I have every being in the closet, surrounded by pillows, blankets, both my kids in helmets, and he's calling me on the phone saying "It's fine, I can make it to the last hole! F-4 tornadoes in a southwesterly direction means it'll hit the course in 12 minutes. I'm fine!"

2. I can base the amount of that sweet action I am going to get on a spreadsheet of how his 401k is doing. The Dow went over 12,000 for the first time since 2008, his 401k made 800 dollars, I plan on which Olsen twin I am going to dress up for mommy/ daddy/after 8pm time. The Dow falls and he loses a grand? We'll be watching Bad Girls Club and eating sugar free popsicles. It's a science.

3. The man has no filter. When I'm on the receiving end of this, it gets him in trouble. But when it's someone else who has stepped out of line I get to giggle at his ridiculousness...enter into evidence July of 2008 when we're walking through Target on a nice Sunday afternoon. Mat snaps his fingers in front of a man's face and says "WHAT?! THEY'RE JUST BOOBS. EVERYBODY'S GOT EM!" I had no idea what was even going on but I immediately turned purple and we had to leave. But we will always remember this.

4. He works very hard to make sure we have the nicest things possible. I have even had to refrain from saying I want something, because I know he will imediately take on a 2nd job to make sure I have it. Even if it's something ridiculous. I could say "I have been really considering buying myself a gold-plated Gucci submarine full of Alpacas" and he'd make a spreadsheet to figure out how we could make it work.

5. He loves our kids more than any other man has ever loved their kids. Including your dad. or You, yourself to your own children. If anyone dares disagree with this, I am sure, again, Mat could come up with a spreadsheet to prove this. But there's none needed.

Happy Anniversary. I am confident we will have many more. As long as you let me get a puppy AND you don't kick it.