Go Mary!Yay for raises and vision insurance!
In the midst of my negotating, I accidentally gave myself a week off in between my notice here at the credit union and my start date at GCC. (That's not its real name, I just don't want it showing up on search engines. If you must know, it rhymes with yell, fell, and bell)
What am I going to do for a week? My thoughts were.
*Make a tornado shelter with my mom hands
*Get a massage from a beautiful big chested man
*Get my first black eye
*Paint the baseboards in my bathroom
*Clean all the things!
*Juice and vomit fast
1. You can't make your own tornado shelter. All you paranoid assholes in Oklahoma cancel your appointments with all the companies. If I have to wait until AUGUST for a storm shelter, then panic attacks and pooing myself will happen for the rest of April, all of May, June, and July. I actually googled "dig my own tornado shelter" and Google came right back with, "NO, MARY."
2. The only massagers we have in Oklahoma are non hot females and don't have big hands. Bible Belt fail.
3. I'm still working on how can I get a black eye in a super awesome way. I go to an outdoor camp with Adrian and his class next week...maybe I'll get punched by a grizzly!
4. This just sounds not fun at all and probably won't actually ever happen.
5. Just click on that link. Ally is everything and I want to be plus good looks and impending fame.
6. A neighbor of mine is moving out of her house she once shared with her husband. Now ex husband is moving in with his 18 year old homewrecker of a girlfriend. I can't compete with no wrinkles and a youthful disposition. I gotta amp up the hotness at least temporarily to get husband with one T through the temptations.
And.............my family is really cute.
UGH! Baseboards! The paint sat on the counter for two weeks, until I got sick of it heckling me...it's in the basement now and I can barely hear it!
ReplyDeleteThey want to be done so badly but they're just too unimportant. Poor guys.
DeleteYou know, my friends and I have an agreement: don't look down. They never even SEE my baseboards. (this rule is a close cousin to "if you can't see it, it's clean back there")
DeleteAlso rhymes with awwwww hell! Congrats, Mary! Also, your family is very cute, and you are looking mighty chesty.
ReplyDeleteWhy thank you, nicest complimenter ever! That's my sexy shirt, my sexy pants, and my sexy face. In case you were confused.
DeleteWell if I remember correctly you're supposed to be hooking up friend with 2 T's with a super awesome hot chic. ;) you could always work on that while you're being a slacker and not contributing to the gross national product.
ReplyDeleteCongrats!! I need a sexy shirt.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! I want your life.
ReplyDelete