“If you care about what others think of you, then you will always be their slave.”

Mat is occasionally out of town for work, and stays at the same hotel. They know him by name, they know what room he likes, and they know he'll probably be a jerk if they forget to leave him a bag of cheez its in his room since he is a "preferred guest".

The kids and I will occasionally make the 1.5 hour drive to stay the night with him in his hotel. We always get adjoining rooms because kids can be obnoxious and kill the sexy time mood.

One day, I got there earlier than I intended and Mat wasn't off work yet. He had called to make sure they knew it was okay to give me a key to the rooms so we could go unload our stuff and wait for him to join us. When I checked in, Kathy immediately recognized me as Mat's wife and gave my kids cookies and told us how cute we all were. I liked Kathy.

She pulled up our room on her computer..

Kathy: Oh, hmmmm...looks like he has two rooms. Do you know which one he is staying in and which one he wants you to stay in?

Mary: You can just give me a key to both.

Kathy: Okay. Well....Okay. I guess that will work. I just don't know which one he is in.

Mary: (Feeling uncomfortable and having the urge to show her happy honeymoon pictures on my phone)

She handed me the keys.


As we check into the rooms and I opened the adjoining door, something was gnawing at me. I laid down on the bed and tried to figure out what it is.

All I could think about was Kathy. And what she thought.


When Mat did get there, he laughingly told me that on the way in the two people at the front desk immediately started apologizing for giving me keys to both rooms but they didn't know which one was his. He thought it was hilarious that they thought we stayed in different rooms like a couple of unhappy virgins.


I laughed it off, too.

"Oh yeah. Hahaha. They think we don't love each other, SO FUNNY. Because, you know, we obviously do. I mean. Look at us. SO HAPPY."





He gave me a weird look and shuffled our kids out the door to dinner. I put on some lipgloss and checked my happy smile in the mirror.




I'll be damned if I let someone think I'm in a loveless marriage.




Mary: Hey, Mat, let's take this way.

Mat: Why? Our car is over here by this exit.

Mary: Shhhh. Come here. Hurry. Let's walk close to the front desk.

(walk, walk, walk, loudly)

Mary: Hold my hand. HOLD MY HAND. Smile.

Mat: OKAY! Jesus.

Mary: BYE KATHY! BYE RONALD!


We ate dinner and had a great time but all I was thinking about was how I could further drive my point home to Kathy, the lady who OBVIOUSLY thought I wasn't good enough to be loved WHOLLY AND COMPLETELY by her favorite customer.




Mat: Do you want to stop and get frozen yogurt, baby?

Mary: Why does she think we don't sleep in the same bed? Does she think I just bring the kids to see you? WHAT IS GOING ON IN HER HEAD?

Mat: I know! Oh well.



There was no oh well about it to me.

I continued to make my point known.


1. I exaggeratedly stuck out my 12 week pregnant belly and rubbed it, looking forlorn, while I waited for Mat to get off work. When she asked if I needed a bottled water,  I said,  "Well, maybe IIIIII don't. But this baby of Mat's SURE is thirsty"

2. One time when we walked through the lobby, I made Ellis hold both of our hands...to show we were a united family.

3. I always make Mat walk through the front door when we are there together, so the front desk can see how stupidly happy and in love we are. (PUT YOUR HAND ON MY NECK)

4. This was getting exhausting.



Getting my prove on had continued for at least 3 weeks. It was getting harder to come up with creative ways to prove that we had sex on a semi-regular basis.

I mentioned it to Mat this past weekend, and he said passingly "Oh yeah, I told them, Mary. A long time ago. They asked which room I would like, and I said 'It doesn't matter, we just open the door between the two and the kids sleep in the other room'".

I wanted to kiss and hug him at the moment.

Especially if Kathy was watching.