Stop The Hate of Wonderful Things

I would like to remind everyone who is not a normal, functioning member of society and is instead a bikini picture girl, that you can drive your car into a large unstable trash can full of carcasses.



Yay. Let's dance around in bikinis, cowgirl hats,  and Ray Bans like we did 10 years ago, WHEN WE WERE 20.




Whatever, I know I am jealous. I know one day I hope to be a BPG. But I won't be. Because I love popping out them babies and eating them krispy kremes.




BUT if you BPG's continue to bash these temperatures we're having that are below 110 degrees, then I will find you. On Facebook......and probably delete you.





"I HATE this weather. I miss the pool parties and the lake!"

Translates into this:

"I'm hot. Go look at my bikini pictures and my drunk duck face white-bikini pictures"







"Go awayyyy 50 degrees. I want my summer back."

translates to:

"I have no fucking job. If I did, I would hate it to be 114 degrees because it would give me sweat creases in my work pants and make me smell like a Hungarian wrestling match"







"NOooooo! I'm not ready for Fall!"

is actually meant to be translated as:

"I hate not having a sweatstache! I love bikinis and hate ACTUAL adorable things like scarves and peppermint milkshakes from Braums."







"Was excited to go to the fair, but now it's too cold. FML"

"I wish I could wear my Sponge-Bob bikini to the fair. Since I can't, I'll wear my bikini in my living room with a hoody casually slung over my toned shoulders, and pose for pictures I take with my own arm/hand so I can post on Facebook to make everyone know...........Fall can kill the fair, but it can't kill this awesome shit that is my exposed torso."








I would love Summer exorbitantly,  too. If all that made it differ from Fall is the addition of snow-cones into my diet.



And if instead of working, I could to go a waterpark all day.




Without my kids.



And if Husband didn't make me feel  like a selfish penguin because I want the AC on a level that will cost us $450 a month instead of $390.

Non-sweaty wife = Happy life!




and if I owned a boat, jetski, koozie, trucker hat, boxer or golden retriever, OU ice chest, and a face that sucks a donkey without makeup.



I think this is hate blog and I'm sorry. I love all you SWBR.




(shirt-wearing blog-readers)