I woke up at 5 in the morning with a screamingly loud alarm blaring into my dreams. I always dream (nightmare) about my husband nonchalantly cheating on me, so the alarm was actually quite better. Then I realized....
Fuck-we're gonna die.
Husband with one T had already torn off into the living room, clothesless. I gathered all my bravery and strength and then crawled under the covers with my cell phone. I dialed 911 but did not hit send. I kept my finger on the phone and hoped that naked Mat wasn't fighting anyone in my kitchen.
I was under the covers for 2 and a half months when Mat finally came back in the bedroom. He said our back door had been forced open, but the alarm must have scared them off. I started to ask more questions but he was trying to calm himself down. We have had a string of burglaries pertaining to us, and I know it stresses the poor guy out to no end.
The police showed up a few minutes later. They told us there had been a string of about 36 robberies in our neighborhood. The guy looks in the window, sees what he wants, gets through the back door and quickly grabs it and runs off. He had seen my laptop, the cop said, and planned on grabbing it until the alarm went off and spoiled all his brilliant plans.
They caught him a few days later. He can lick my dog's balls. I hate him.
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| photo courtesy of koco.com |
Police said a man tracked down two people on Craigslist accused of stealing his iPod.
The man called police on Monday and told officers that his home and garage were burglarized late Sunday night, according to the police report released on Wednesday.
Police said the man’s iPod, checkbook, Capri Sun and Juicy Juice drinks from the refrigerator were stolen.
He stole juice boxes, he stole my naked husband at 5 AM, he stole 3 nights of sleep from me. I hope he poops from his mouth sometime today.
My week's positive:
Look at my beautiful daughter who had her pictures taken for Spring!
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| All photos are by Sweetberry Photography |
Also, what could be a negative for most is a positive for me! We found a cute babygirl snake in our backyard who hopefully doesn't have rabies!
We let him go in the field and we have missed him every day since. Come back, John Lennon The Snake!
In closing....you know how ricidulous Good Son Adrian is. When I brought their dinner to the table last night, he said
"Oh my. It's like you're a special, pretty, butler or something"
This kindness and sweetness was taken advantage of a few hours later, when his sister, who is 5 years younger and 5 years smaller than him, tortured him in the tub while he was crying and saying, "Please, Please stop, Ellis. Please. Wahhhh."
Enjoy my post about nothing....hopefully I'll have something fun to write about soon.
P.s. I'm having an extraordinarily incredible hairday today (on a gross rainy day, nonetheless) so I had to post a picture. Then, to counteract the awfulness of posting a pretty picture of myself, I also graced you with a picture I accidentally took of myself when the camera was backwards. It's the worst picture of me in existence. Enjoy the self esteem ride you're about to take.
