I saw these shoes on my favorite website, http://www.modcloth.com/- which specializes in clothes that look funky and different and cute, but were made with paper towels and will fall apart the first time you try to change your mom/banker/frumptastic image and wear something emo.
Here is what I imagined the creators of this masterpiece discussing the day before they were distributed.
Cute emo girl with half curly hair and blue glasses: These are done, Gerald. What do you think?
Gerald: I think they're beautiful. I love the color, the half-red heel, and and the adorable tie in the front. But I feel like it's missing something. That open area for the top of the foot is missing something.
Emo: I don't know what you mean. I don't want to add too much, you know?
Gerald: Listen Pandora, I am the executive of the shoe department and you'll damn well listen to what I have to say. Now. I am thinking a giant flap of pinkish red fabric that looks like a giant saggy vagina would be a perfect addition to the front and top of this shoe.
Emo: Maybe it would represent the heartache and misrepresentation of the modern fem-
Gerald: I don't give a donkey's ass about your women's sufferage poetry. I just want the shoe to look it was dipped in vagina-land. No, not that fabric. It needs to be more dark pink. No, that's not enough fabric, I want it to be giant and saggy looking. Okay, good job Pandora. You get to stay another day.
